While I have mentioned the paradox of insomnia too many times to count, this article is meant to go into more details on what this is all about.
Why is this subject important and why do I keep mentioning it over and over again? Don’t I ever get sick of hearing myself drone on and on and about the paradox?
Sorry, but no. I have to keep talking about it because it is the foundation of all sleep anxiety difficulties.
Most insomniacs fall into the tangled web of the paradox without knowing what is happening. As soon as we can understand it better, we can get ourselves free. We are unlikely to free ourselves from the entanglement without this understanding.
That’s not to say you should make studying it your life’s work. Many people acquire this understanding on a rather unconscious level but I find that bringing it out in the open and discussing it makes the process a little easier.
Who Will Most Benefit From This Discussion?
That’s easy: those who find themselves completely baffled by how their sleep anxiety and the related insomnia sometimes gets better, sometimes gets worse, then better and then much worse… and how anxiety can sometimes reach panic level for no discernible reason.
This is why the most common questions I get from insomniacs in recovery run along the lines of, “Is this normal?” “Am I crazy?” “Do others experience this?” and so on. The answer is yes, yes, and yes. Um, actually, make that yes, no, and yes.
What is the snowball effect of sleep anxiety? How is this different from the paradox of insomnia?
The snowball effect of sleep anxiety (and anxiety in general) is really quite simple.
First you have the original anxiety that goes something like “I am afraid I will not sleep.”
This keeps you up at night, so naturally, since you understand that the anxiety is making it worse, you add on the next layer (hence the term “snowball”) which goes something like “I have to stop worrying so much because it is making my insomnia worse. I must stop worrying now so I can sleep!”
Of course this doesn’t work, so another layer is added that sounds a little like “Oh my god, I’m worried that I’m worrying too much about worrying about my sleep! I’m going crazy now and I’ll never get to sleep.”
And the next layer, of course, is simply “AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!”
If this sounds familiar, then you already know what the snowball effect of anxiety is. But just in case the example doesn’t make it clear enough, here is a definition:
It is the process of adding layers to your original anxiety because you are anxious about being anxious because of the consequences of that original anxiety (in this case, insomnia).
People who experience anxiety about other things besides sleep are well acquainted with the snowball effect, although they might call it something different.
Those who are not anxious in other areas of their lives but do have insomnia caused by sleep anxiety, may find this phenomenon new and foreign to them. For everyone, though, it is quite the bummer.
Snowballing anxiety is a symptom of the paradox of insomnia – what you fear the most and wish to avoid is what you get more of – which is why I have lumped them together in this article.
Why is this so common? What is this mysterious thing called anxiety anyway?
We know surprisingly little about anxiety other than the fact that 1) it is unpleasant 2) it is linked to the basic survival instinct of “fight or flight”, and 3) some people have it worse than others. Other than these basic facts, I do not see much research being done to get to the root cause of anxiety and in particular, the snowball effect. This is my roundabout way of saying, “I have no idea.” Unfortunately, it appears neither does anyone else.
How to deal with the snowball using CBT techniques?
What I do know is that you can deal with the snowball effect by using CBT techniques. While these techniques can be quite powerful over the long term, they do not work immediately, which can be discouraging to desperate people. Considering the options, though, CBT is my first line defense against anxiety in any form, snowballed or not. But like everything else, it is not an instant miraculous magic-pill-cure-all, and it does require effort, patience and understanding to be effective, all of which you can read more about in other articles about CBT like this one and this one.
For layers of anxiety I also sometimes like to draw a pie chart on paper and try to figure out which portion of the pie is caused by original sleep anxiety (I’m worried about not sleeping) and which portion is due to the additional layer (I’m worried about worrying about not sleeping) and then which area (hopefully a smaller one) is due to the third layer (worrying about worrying about worrying about not sleeping). Seeing it drawn out in a graphic is sometimes comforting or at least gives you an idea of how you have built these layers in the first place. You can color them in too, if you like.
How to deal with the snowball using relaxation techniques.
Since CBT takes a while to work on layered anxiety, it is also a good idea to do some relaxation exercises, beginning with deep breathing and then a quick body scan. This allows you to pinpoint the physical effects of your anxiety by noticing where in your body you have tensed up muscles “holding” this emotion. This can be enlightening. No matter what the results, practicing relaxation techniques regularly is always a healthy and enjoyable way to give yourself a break from everyday stresses of life.
How to deal with the snowball using (paradoxically) NO technique (really a mindfulness technique)
Mindfulness is simply a moment-by-moment awareness of what is going on within and without. You take a few minutes to quiet your mind and just observe the anxious inner dialogue in your brain and the anxious tension in your body, along with the sounds and sights surrounding you, the weight of your body in the chair, and so on.
I will not pretend to be an expert on mindfulness, but it is a great way to break a paradox. When you feel yourself relax a little bit or sigh, you know it is having some effect. But you don’t need an immediate effect to continue the practice, as it has value with or without results, and will become more helpful over time.
And “no technique” is not a joke. Often practicing “techniques” to make ourselves feel differently can temporarily backfire and cause more anxiety—not because the methods are harming us but because we are (surprise!) putting too much pressure on ourselves and expecting too much.
So any time you are feeling particularly desperate, you can say “I don’t really HAVE to do anything about this right now. I can just sit here and feel how desperate and miserable I feel and hold the feeling gently in my arms while I sway slightly from side to side in this chair” or something like that.
How to calm anxiety about anxiety…
It may help to know that anxiety about anxiety is very common but completely unnecessary. The original anxiety is enough, and sometimes you can gently yet firmly refocus your thoughts on the original anxiety—in this case, “I am worried about not sleeping” and then turn to problem solving by asking yourself “How can I help myself sleep better?” The layers can be safely ignored as you concentrate on the core issue.
Can you bore yourself to sleep talking about anxiety? Droning on and on and on… (snore) …and on?
Yes, you can bore yourself by droning on and on about anxiety but I recommend more pleasant ways of boring yourself. I will discuss this in a later article. Stay tuned!