If you have conditioned insomnia, it’s very important to develop a pre-sleep routine.
The reason has to do with how the brain works. As we all know, the habit-forming part of the brain allows us to turn a series of actions or thoughts into an automatic behavior pattern that we repeat over and over without having to be consciously aware of every step.
Be thankful for this brain mechanism, because it makes life a lot easier. It would be a real chore to have to consciously plan our every routine action or behavior.
But it also is responsible for some of your misery. You’ve programmed this habit-forming brain with certain behavior and thoughts that have contributed to your chronic sleeplessness, giving you a full-blown case of conditioned insomnia. Now you have to reprogram it. That takes deliberate, conscious effort. But IT CAN BE DONE with the proper techniques.
Is Night Time Giving You a Bad Time?
If you have conditioned insomnia, you have already unconsciously set up an unpleasant association with going to bed.
You approach the bedroom with feelings of frustration, anxiety or depression. The little voice inside you is saying things like “I hope I can get some sleep tonight” or “I probably won’t sleep tonight again” or “I wish I could get rid of this #$%* insomnia” or “I’m so tired but I’m sure I’ll have another miserable night, why oh why does this have to happen to me” …or something like that.
This is called a “negative association” in behavioral therapy terms.
And do you think this negative association helps you sleep better? No, of course it doesn’t. That’s why it’s called conditioned insomnia. But it’s become an ingrained habit, an automatic response to stimuli… as the behaviorists call it.
So what’s the good news? Well, a habit can be changed. You can turn the pre-bedtime period into a pleasant part of your day. And even better? You do this before you actually cure your insomnia.
Do not expect, at this point, to sleep better just because you establish a certain routine. I know that’s your ultimate goal, but it should not be your first goal. Remember the insomnia cure mantra:
Take… the… pressure… off.
Otherwise you will set yourself up for disappointment and make your conditioned insomnia even worse.
Your first goal is to simply do a series of pleasant, relaxing things before you go to bed… no more, and no less. Simple.
Changing the Conditioning from Negative to Positive
No, it won’t be an overnight change, but over the next couple of weeks, you can gently train your brain to think more helpful, calming, positive thoughts. In other words, you’ll be replacing that nagging voice that’s now causing your conditioned insomnia with a more soothing, kind, and sensible one.
And one of the best ways to do this is to give yourself something to look forward to when you approach the inevitable bedtime.
By setting up a bedtime routine, you will begin to associate the 30-45 minute period before bed with relaxation and calm. And it really doesn’t matter what this routine is, as long as it contains these two criteria:
- It’s a relaxing and pleasant routine, but not exciting or stimulating. This means you need to resist any desire to turn on the nightly news to see what’s going on (unless fires, wars, and violent crimes make you feel really relaxed), or dance around the house while blasting loud music into your eardrums. (It’s good to dance, but you need to do it earlier in the day.)
- It’s consistently done every night. Not that you have to get obsessed with it, as that will just cause tension. But at least most nights you can do it.
Your bedtime routine doesn’t have to be interesting. In fact, dull is better. Of course you can include your mundane chores of brushing teeth, taking a bath, putting the kids to bed, or whatever it is you usually do at at this time.
But it’s also essential to incorporate a relaxation routine, such as listening to calming music or “white noise,” diffusing aromatherapy oils, or using any other sleep aid you would like to experiment with.
The MOST important thing is not WHAT you do, but WHEN you do it and how CONSISTENTLY you keep this routine going. Even if it gets boring… keep it up.
What to Include
What to put into your pre-sleep routine is a matter of individual taste, of course. Just a few suggestions:
- Listening to calming music
- Listening to white noise
- Taking a warm bath
- Getting and/or giving massages (if you have a sleeping partner)
- Reading a calming, positive book
- Reading interesting but mild fiction (you must judge this for yourself)
- Using aromatherapy techniques
- Listening to a meditation or hypnosis CD designed specifically to help you relax
- Taking deep calming breaths (see below)
- Practicing a progressive relaxation technique
- Creative visualization
A Quickie Relaxation Technique for Conditioned Insomnia
If you prefer to a shorter relaxation technique that lasts for just a few minutes, you can try this simple breathing exercise:
- Lie on your bed. If you like, put a pillow under your lower legs to help your back and lower abdomen to relax.
- Inhale slowly to a count of six. Fill your lungs with air. Put your hand on your lower abdomen to make sure it expands during inhalation. This is the proper way of breathing deeply.
- Hold your breath gently for a count of four..
- Exhale, letting the air out either gently in a slow “Ahhhhh” or a faster, with a louder “Whoosh”… whichever is most comfortable. As you do so, allow your body to fully relax and sink deeper into the mattress. Let your shoulders, neck, back, arms and legs let go of tension and feel limp.
Repeat this sequence at least 3 or 4 times.
Don’t expect this alone to cure your insomnia. Just learn to do certain pleasant activities for their own reward rather than to reach a goal.
Remember? Insomnia is a paradox. You will sleep soon… after you have learned to let go of the pressure on yourself to sleep.
Return to learn more about what causes insomnia and behavioral changes you can make!